Have you ever been in a situation where someone is literally talking bad about you when you’re in the same room as them? Do you pretend that you can’t hear what they are saying to someone else about you? Were you mad, felt ashamed of yourself, or had anxiety about what they were saying about you? Did you think to yourself, “Why am I like this?” Honestly, I had those same thoughts when I was encountered by a similar situation.
This is honestly so hard for me to talk about. So when I’m in class (I’m in college), I am constantly analyzing my environment I’m in and the people around me. My mind is always thinking about something to the point I get lost in my thoughts. I also think about what a person is saying, like when a professor is lecturing – I’m that person who takes notes. Anyways, we were in groups and I was in the middle of talking to the people in my group. All of a sudden, I hear, “Why doesn’t she talk? She is the only one who doesn’t talk and I’m still trying to figure out why.” Ha, I knew this was about me!
I pretended to not hear that rude comment, even though it hurt me on the inside. I felt the need to explain myself to her about the reason why I am the way I am, but she wouldn’t understand even if I did. Her comment definitely showed the type of person she is because who would say something like that, especially when that person is in the same room as them? It blew my mind.
I’m telling y’all about this because I know I’m not alone and there are other people who has been in this situation also. During that day, I had so much anxiety. I really didn’t know why I hardly talk while I’m in class because outside of class, I talk so much. In Elementary, I was the little girl who did things on her own and barely talked because I felt like no one would care what I had to say. My classmates would ask me, “Why don’t you ever talk?” or when I finally had the courage to say something, it was “She talks!”
I truly believe my past is to blame for why I am the way I am and it is not for that girl in my class to “figure out.” God knows why I am like this and I don’t have to explain it to anyone. I owe absolutely no one an explanation.
If you have been in a similar situation as me, we need to let those people keep on talking about us and keep them guessing. Let’s “let them talk.” Don’t let this tear you apart, let it make you stronger. We shouldn’t care about what other people think about us because let’s face it – everyone has a different opinion about every individual that they encounter and we can’t control what others think about us. We can’t control that, but do you know what you can control? You can control the way you react to the situation and the thoughts about yourself. I know, it hurts when someone talks bad about you and it’s not your fault at all. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. This is probably a difficult thing for the world to do because we always feel like we should give an explanation for everything and then we try so hard to gain someone’s acceptance.
Instead of asking yourself, “Why am I like this?” Ask yourself, “Why is this person like this?” That’s the real question here. Trust me, you’re not the problem because when someone has so much negative energy to the point they find something so hurtful to say to other people about someone, they are the ones who are hurting on the inside. It’s not because of you or the way you are. You’re not the one hurting them. So let them talk.
To whoever is reading this, I want you to walk away from this blog post with knowing that you don’t have to explain yourself, you’re the way you are for a reason, there is nothing wrong with you, and always, alway be yourself even when someone is talking bad about you. You matter.
When you find the time, please listen to “Enemy” by Newsboys.
“Take away the blindness. Lead me through the dark. Don’t let me fall apart. Save me from my bitterness. Show me who I am. Make me who You want me to be.”
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This Bible is a little pricy, but I think it is so cute! It also has margins on the side for you to take notes, so if you need one to do some reflections during the time of Lent, you should get this one.