Since Father’s Day was this past weekend, I thought I should write about this. Ever since I stopped seeing my biological father, I dreaded Father’s Day. I guess it was the thought of seeing everyone’s posts on social media about how great their fathers were to them.
Every time Father’s Day would come around, it would hurt me. That was the past and now, I don’t feel the same way anymore.
Now, I realize how much the past has shaped me and made me stronger.
I remember when I was a child just wishing that I would have two parents living underneath the same roof and love eachother so much. I would wonder why I would have to go to the other parents’ house on the weekend because I noticed that my friends and my cousins around me didn’t have to do that.
I would wonder why God didn’t give me that and now I know why.
I honestly wouldn’t be the same person if my past didn’t turn out the way it did because it made me who I am today and for that, I am thankful.
Because of that, it’s time to say thank you.
I doubt he will ever see this…
But, I want to thank my biological father for showing me what to not look for when it comes to relationships.
I know, most girls look for someone who is exactly like their dad and that won’t ever be the case for me.
Thank you for leaving my life when you did because I have grown so much without your help.
To be honest, I don’t think there was a time in my life where ” I needed you.”
It’s crazy how much I remember from my past – I remember everything so vividly.
I remember watching your actions when I was little and from that day on, I refused to become exactly like you.
I have accomplished so much without you and I never once needed you.
It’s sad that you won’t get to watch me graduate college or walk me down the aisle in the future.
Don’t worry, I would rather want my PawPaw to do that.
Thank you for making me a strong person and from your non-existence, I found my worth in God.
He was the one who picked me up and made everything better.
Once I realized that I do have a Father and His name is God, it made me realize that I didn’t need an Earthly father at all.
Let’s face it, I’m so much stronger without one.
Because of you, I know exactly what I want:
In the future, I want to have a husband who loves me unconditionally, never is toxic, and doesn’t drink. I also want to have children who will never know what it’s like to have parents who are divorced and having to pack a suitcase every other weekend. I want my future children to truly know that both of their parents love each other so much. I don’t want them to ever see their parents fight, especially in front of them. I just don’t want that for my future children at all – I want them to have what my past was missing.
Because of you, I want all of those things and that’s why my standards are so high.
Thank you for leaving when you did because I found God shortly right after.
I believe that everything I went through in my past led me even more closer to God.
God knew I was broken and felt unlovable, He knew and He still wanted me as His Daughter.
That’s how much God loves us and His mercy is so good to us!
If you’re a father still reading this, I want to give you some advice. Please always be there for your children no matter what. Verbally tell and show your child or children how much you love them – it won’t go unnoticed. If you have a daughter, please let her know how much she’s worth to you and that you’ll never leave her. Your child/children needs you more than you will ever know.
Lastly, thank you for making me who I am today and because of you, I’m caring, understanding, patient, kind, and have such a caring heart for children specifically those who have family problems.
My past definitely made me so much stronger!